Monday, September 25, 2006

Deputy Travis Juniorcostume

Mail from "Melvin" ...

> From: "Melvin Samson \u0026lt;melvinsamson_005@hotmail.co.uk>
> Reply-To: melvinsamson010@yahoo.com
> Subject: GET BACK IMMEDIATELY
> Date: Sun, 24 Sep 2006 15:25:55 +0000
>
>My Dear Friend,
>
>Greetings:
>
>My name is Mr. Melvin Samson I work as an accountant in a bank; I
>contacted you to work together with me in claiming my late client's
>estate. Unfortunately he died without a registered next of kin and
>as such the funds now have an open beneficiary status. You could be
>made the beneficiary since you share the same last name with him.
>
>This has officially transferred the right to you, as no other person
>from his family knows anything about this fund with our bank.If you
>are interested in working with me,
>
>please get back to me as quickly as possible so that I give you the
>details of what we are to do. I wait for your prompt response so
>that I can give you more briefing of what you need to and how to do
>it.
>
>Thanks for your co-operation.
>
>Best regards,
>
>Melvin.




'Allo there Melvin yer sexy beast!

Oi! It makes me so 'appy ter know that yer've finally managed ter get a Uncle Bob in that bank. Now yer don't 'ave ter sit outside wiv yor wee McDonald's cup and beg for brass from strangers anymore. Good for yer! Honest guv! I would right luv ter work wiv yer, right, but first yer'll 'ave ter show me some proof that yor yer. Please send me a photo wiv yer 'oldin' a big sign wiv a banana on it. On the banana I want the bleedin' text "Chuck Tan Doori is me buttmaster".

Thank yer!

Mae West Regards,

Sir Chuck Tan Doori the chuffin' Greatest Man Alive

Friday, September 22, 2006

Cliff Keen Headgear Adjustment

Wahahahaha: D

>From: "ray deen" <raydeen@atlas.sk>
>Reply-To: "Ray" <raydeen@katamail.com>
>Subject: In trust from Ray
>Date: Wed, 20 Sep 2006 17:00:58 +0200
>
>In trust from Ray
>Hello dear,
>I am Raymond Deen from sierra leone but residing in Ivory Coast in Africa. It is my desire to contact you on honesty and sincerity to assist me in transferring the sum of $3,520,000 inherited from my father late Alh. Cecil Deen to your country for investment. I am motivated in contacting you and hope to gradually build trust, relationship and confidence in you as i get to know you better.
>So please i want to know if you will be of assistance but first i want to get to know you better. I am willing to offer you $352,000 usd for your effort input after the successful transfer of this money and investment, I have plans to do investment in your country, like real estate and industrial production. This is my reason for writing to you. Please if you are willing to assist me. Indicate your interest towards assisting me by sending your phone # and address so that i can communicate with you at any time. I will be waiting for your response.
>thanks
>Raymond (skype ID: raysilv)



Hello sweet man!

I'm so terribly happy to recieve this mail from you about investment in Norway. Luckily for you I know lots and lots of good ways you can invest your money, and I wanna give you a few examples below.

First of all, what you really need to buy to get a good start in a fucked up country would be to buy the government. So why don't you start with buying this one? http://www.stortinget.no/ Yes, send them a mail and tell them you wanna buy the entire building with all the people inside it. Stoltenberg too, as he's a very very silly man. You can buy him and then sell him to someone else. To Israel for instance.

Then secondly I think you should buy Oslo Børs, as I can't think of any place with higher potential for investments at the moment. http://www.oslobors.no/ob/ Oh, and make sure you get one of those McDonald's restaurants as well, in case you get hungry. Mostly african people working there anyways, at least in Oslo, so you're feel just like home there.

But you can't just buy boring places, so you're gonna need some entertainment too. How about buying Tusenfryd? It's a very fun place for people like you, maybe you can even take tømmerrenna while you're there. You'll get wet and scream alot while waving your arms around. Check out www.tusenfryd.no for more information, my kuksuger friend.

Love and kisses from your new best friend,

Jerome O'Zexuall

Setting Up Time On Dvp Sr200p Dvd Player

And the scam goes on ...

To: Chuck Tan Doori ,

Dearest one,

I sincerely thank you so much for your response and interest to assist us in this transaction and as you was informed, your information has today submitted at the bank as my foreign associate and a guardian to my son KELVIN OWEN.

So, I will appreciate you to contact the bank directly as my foreign associate. Again, you should request from them on how this transfer will be made into your nominated bank account as I can not handle this transaction due to my present condition.

Here is the bank contact bellow:

Bank Atlantic CI
Av. Du General Gaulle Plateau
04 BP 1036 Abidjan 04
Rev. Dr. Martin Lafon (Bank Manager)
Tell: +22507001306
Fax: +22506435701
Email: infobaci@banknoteclub.com

Further more, you should contact the bank urgently and inform me your conversation with them through email and call Kelvin for any information about this transaction because I have explain everything to him.

Attached is the picture me and my late husband and Kelvin. ( http://www.home.no/taragraph/MEANDMYLATEHUSBAND.jpg og http://www.home.no/taragraph/KELVINPIC.jpg Herregud!)

We hope to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely.

Mrs Grace Owen
+22507066535


...Det her tar jo aldri slutt?!...Ok, siste sjangs:


Greetings and-ah salutations in the name of The Lord to You, lovely Grace-ah!
While eatin' my blessed macaroni and cheese-ah dinner today I suddenly realized-ah that HEY-ah! Heyyy! I haven't heard from-ah little Mrs Grace Owen for quite some time now. By the Lord Father in the Honey Heavens! Are you dead, Mrs. Grace? Has the evil satanic-ah disease finally brought you down-ah!? I sure hope not, for I dooo have-ah some interesting news for you!

My son Kermit left town the other day-ah! He's gone-ah...Gone to become a missionary in the forest nearby, to tame those filthy natives we got living around there. Jesus praiiise him, for he shall set those savages free Grace! Yesss-ah! YESSS-AH! By the way-ah, I really think your son Kelvin reminds me of one of my old classmates. His name was Celsius. He had the worst-ah, WORSt-ah sunburn you could evah imagine, Grace! For God had made Celsius an albino. And so he cried-ah, he CRIED-ah! But he was brave-ah, and all the children made up a song about him and called him Sunny.

Those were happy days, Grace. And he would pray every night-ah, for the Lord God Jesus Allmighty Fathah and Cousins to make his life easier, but nothing ever happened. The boy-ah...was CURSED-ah! AMEN! Please look at the picture I'm sending-ah, to see how terrible he looked because of Satan. ( http://www.home.no/taragraph/albino2.jpg ) Grace, you must pray for him too! Halleluja, pray for dearest Celcius! Pray for the Holy Lord to make him brown like myself-ah!

I will also include-ah, this family photo. ( http://www.home.no/taragraph/ventriloquist.jpg ) HALLELUJAH! Yesss! You can see my father on the left, my brother in the middle and-ah his two sons, Brown Moe and Freckled Pete. Bless them! Bless them, for they have this terrible disease-ah! They've all got muppetitis, normally a disease known only in muppet families, but now we've contracted it too. Pray for them, Grace. PRAY-ah!!

And finally I have-ah one very very important message for You, Gracie... I've been in contact with the Holy Bank and I'm ready. Ready to make the blessed transaction for your beloved son Kelvin.

But I will need another thing from you Grace, and I need a better picture. I need you to prove-ah to me that you are really yourselves, and not one of Satan's dark angels in disguise.

You will have to send me another photo. Yess-ah! Another photo of yourselves or your son Kelvin, holding a sign that says these words-ah, and these words only, and nothing else-ah: "Reverend Chuck Tan Doori is my sheperd and I shall be his lambchop monkey". But I also believe-ah that "I love Chuck Tan Doori" will do just fine too. Aaaamen!

Remember, this is very important for me to get this transaction going. So you MUST send me-ah this photo I just described. Halleluuuujah! Now go out and make diciples, harvest crops and kick ugly babies in the name of the Holy Bearded Fella.

Please I beg You to hurry, I really need the cash-ah to be able to give my family proper treatment for the muppetitis!!!


Blessed Regards and hairy man-nipple squeezes from

Reverend Chuck "Don't stick that candle there, Father" Tan Doori.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Can You Take Meloxicam For Migraines

Africans replied .. o_O

>From: grace owen < graceowen001@yahoo.fr >
>To: Chuck Tan Doori < cursedemon@hotmail.com >
>Subject: Thanks
>Date: Thu, 14 Sep 2006 18:53:31 +0200 (CEST)
>
>From: Mrs Grace Owen
>Telephone: +22507066535
>
>   To: Reverend Chuck Tan Doori,
>
>   Dearest one,
>
>   I thank you very much for your prompt response to my mail which has again reassured my strength and life to living,.
>
>   I will like you to help me transfer this money into your nominated bank account so that you will use it for onward investment and for the help of less privileges and you have selected for this mission after series of prayer and I will hand you over this transaction to be complete on my behalf as my foreign partner due to my present condition.
>
>Beloved one, you should send to me the bellow detailed information.
>
>1. A copy of your international passport or national identity.
>2. Your contacts address including your telephone and fax number.
>
>   Meanwhile, immediately this information is received, you will be present and declare at the bank as my foreign partner that have come to assist me transfer this money into his nominated bank account for onward investment and for the future of my son.
>
>In the meantime, I assure you that this transaction is 100 percent legitimate and I will also detail to you all the document regarding the deposition of this fund and also a letter of authority including the bank contact so that you will contact the bank directly and require to them on how to transfer this money into your nominated bank account.
>
>So, I appreciate your urgent response so that we will proceed immediately on this transaction and also kindly call my son KELVIN OWEN on our telephone number : +22507066535 for oral discussion about this transaction because I can not be able to talk due to my present condition.
>
>I sincerely thank you for your kind interest on this transaction.
>
>Yours sincerely.
>
>Mrs Grace Owen

----------


Praaaiiiise the Lord, Mrs Owen!


I am truly glad to hear-ah that You are feeling better, because of Jesus Lord our eternal Father! He reached into Your golden heart and squeezed it with His everlasting goodness-ah and honey crusted fingers, oh Yess-ah! YESS-ah, He has blessed You Grace, You are so lucky!


As you asked, I've scanned my passport-ah, into the computer and I'm sending it to You right now, right this second, with help from His allmighty internet power, and I dooo hope-ah this pleases you Mrs Owen. ( http://www.home.no/taragraph/pass.jpg  Høhøhø :p)


But I must tell you one thing-ah, Mrs Grace Owen. One thing indeed-ah! My Lord has spoken to me while I was bathin' with my mother, and He urged me to ask You too for identification, Grace-ah. Yes-ah, YES I must see thy passport my dear. Halleluja, You must send me a picture of thyself as a symbol of Your honesty and sincerity. I must have this picture within three days-ah, or I cannot complete this transaction-ah. The Lord has spoken and so it shall be.


Meanwhile I will pray for You, Grace! I've inflated a balloon-ah, written Your holy name on it and tomorrow first thing after dinner I'm going to climb up unto the roof of my barn and let go of it, Grace. Yesss-ah, I will release this balloon into the holy Heaven sky itself, Grace, for You! So Jesus will know You are suffering, and He will save Your blessed soul.  Halleluja Grace! I will also be buck nekkid-ah during this procedure. Amen-ah!


I will also need-ah, all Your bank account information and social security number. Phone number will also be needed. And oh, what size shoes do You wear, Grace?


I'm lookin forward to spending Your money, Grace. Thank You so much-ah for this blessed opportunity, Yourselves are truly an outstanding Christian lady. Amen! My son, Kermit wants me to forward his best wishes to You, and big jelly donut huggies. Halleluja! Praiiise the Lord now!


Best wishes and happy newyear from thy beloved favorite pastor of all time,


Reverend Chuck Tan Doori, Priest of Thunder and Lovemaking with oysters



...Nå kan de umulig svare meg mer vel... >.<